Thursday, January 22, 2009

For The Men in Our World!


I am continually amazed at the dynamics of family and more specifically the differences between mum and dad. One thing I’ve noticed, in our family, is that I am the more cautious one when it comes to stretching physical boundaries. For example, whilst living in Australia, our children were learning to surf. Having grown up in Saskatchewan and spent time at our picturesque lakes, the only waves I was really comfortable with, were those from the odd speedboat passing by the shore! Needless to say, this Prairie girl quickly discovered that the waves of the ocean differ greatly to our lakes.

Whilst my husband was in the water teaching my children the ways of the ocean, I was always close by. You could always find me on the shoreline yelling, “be careful, hold onto them, don’t go out so far, watch those rocks (in the far distance), etc., etc., etc.” My children laughed at my concern knowing that they were safe with dad. They jumped, dunked, spit and spurt their way through surfing (something I would have never attempted with them). Besides my obvious nervousness I should have never watched the movie Jaws…. need I say more! I must add that I do love a relaxing day by the ocean and I miss our lazy days at our favourite Sydney beach especially when it’s -30 ☺!

Another example of my husband stretching boundaries is with skiing. All of our children started skiing at the tender age of three. I love the way he encourages them and challenges them to push on. I too take part in this but my mother’s heart softens when they feel the cold or have a fall. Philip, on the other hand, explains to them that skiing is a winter sport and winter equals cold. He tells them that if they want to ski then complaining about the cold isn’t an option. He also helps them up from a fall, dusts them off and keeps them going. Through this tender instruction all three of our children can now ski and we enjoy great family holidays on the slopes.

There are of course countless other examples I could share that would give expression to the necessity of fathers. Sadly I believe we are living in a ‘fatherless’ generation. We see the likes of ‘The Wiggles’ and countless other male figures catapulted to star status simply because our children need and crave strong male role models in their lives. I love that my husband is teaching my son how to be a man, a husband a provider and a carer. Equally he is teaching my daughters how to be loved by a man through gentleness, kindness and so much more.

The other day our seven-year-old son had a mid-term spelling test. He had prepared well. However, as we left for school his father wished him good luck and said, “Go for it buddy, you can do it!” That afternoon I picked him and his sister up from school, we asked how his big test went and with a huge toothy grin he exclaimed, “I got 100%”. My eldest encouraged him, by telling him he did well because he was well prepared. To our surprise he disagreed and said, “I got 100% because my dad wished me good luck”! I smiled knowingly.

Upon arriving home, my son could hardly get his seatbelt off quick enough. He burst through the doors, ran through the house, found his dad and said, “Dad I got 100% in my spelling test today. I got it because you wished me good luck. Thanks dad. I love you”. I could see my husband’s heart expanding, once again realising how important his input into this little life is. It was a good day.

I share this today hoping that men will continue to influence and impact the young ones with confidence. Whether you are father, grandfather or friend; someone is looking to you. Understand who you are in these little lives and I always say, ‘TO THE WORLD YOU MAY ONLY BE SOMEONE BUT TO THE SOMEONE YOU MAY BE THE WORLD’!

Susan J Sohn

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

A good message. In this day and age there is a dire need for male role models and guidance. Far too many homes do not have this balance.
Well written Susan.

Graham

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan - that so touched my heart! I realize what a void I had in that department growing up and we now have a whole generation of kids being brought up by the TV and the Wii and so on, instead of in the true context of family. You have a great message!

Anonymous said...

Hi Susan - that so touched my heart! I realize what a void I had in that department growing up and we now have a whole generation of kids being brought up by the TV and the Wii and so on, instead of in the true context of family. You have a great message!

When are we going for coffee? :)

Susan Sohn said...

Thanks Stephanie. I know so many like yourself. The absence of a male figure truly leaves a hole that is hard to fill.

So glad you read and it touched you and thanks for commenting.
Susan

Anonymous said...

What a great article. I think it must be difficult to raise children without a male influence. For both boys and girls I must say. The boys need to see that 'boys are boys' and have very unique qualities and ideas about a lot of things. And mostly, little girls want to be little girls and be like mummy. I loved that when my girls were little. How nice it was to have them say I want to be like you when I grow up mummy. I want to have babies like you did. Just as well it is wonderful for boys to be proud of their dads. They can only really express that pride when Dad has been around and influencing them.

Good for Family Room. What a great place to get encouraged. Wish I had access to it when I was raising my children. What support!

Susan Sohn said...

Anonymous,

Thank you for your comment. Glad you've found us. Hope you visit often. Your comment is much appreciated.

Susan

Anonymous said...

It is a great responsibility to be a dad with many rewards and often a price to be paid. I am so glad I have be blessed with a Son to care for and he more often then not rewards me!
Nathan

Anonymous said...

It is true that many boys and girls in our society are starved from a strong father figure. For whatever the reason some fathers have chosen to walk away -“’cos they’ve gotta do what is right for them…”- or simply they’ve created environments where a family cannot survive (emotionally).
The one thing I try to do is guard myself against (and those in my extended family) to put limitations on my children based on my personal experience and not on what they could achieve by encouraging them to “just-do-it”. Just a few weeks ago my wife, daughter and I entered a half marathon. My wife is a walker and does not run on the other hand I’m a runner and do not walk. In the lead up to the event my 11year old daughter mentioned that she would run it and would beat us all. My wife would lovingly say to her “it is ok if you don’t beat your dad or run the whole distance there are thousands of people running not mention heart-break-hill!” While I thought it would be tough for her to complete the run, all I said to her was let’s do it. On the day of the race there were thousands and thousands of people participating –so many, we could only walk the 1st km- my daughter looked at me and said “ok dad let’s do it” and so we went, one km after the other she kept going with km to go 1km she could have stopped and I would have been impressed with her effort, instead she said “I’m going for the win”.
I do believe my kids (any kid for that matter) can do whatever they set their mind to. Just because you as a mum or dad could not do maths it does not mean you need to tell your kids that they won’t be good at it either. And so in my house the door is always open for possibility and I fiercely guard it ‘cos it could easily be knocked down by mum. Grandma, uncle, aunty and even me.

Fitzroy

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