Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Male presence


Stuck in traffic on my way home from work, a quick glance to my right caused me to well up with tears. No, it wasn’t a car crash, it was simply a dad walking along with his daughter, swinging her hand, both of them laughing at something. It was nothing special. It was nothing out of the ordinary. But for my daughter, it’s something she has never experienced with her own father.

There are so many of us, even some of you married girls, who have found themselves wondering when the men in our lives (if any) will either step up, stand up or just show up for us and/or our kids.

These are the moments that I, and many mums who have walked the path of parenting alone, can make a split-second choice to fall apart with regret, hurt and aching or blink back the tears, brace ourselves and see the flip side of the situation, which for me is to be grateful for the men in my life who add so much. Having my father as a strong presence in my daughter’s life is a gift that I will never take for granted … I know not everyone has that.

The older my daughter gets, the more I see her need for a strong and trusted male presence to be a part of her life. I’m sure everyone’s view on this will vary, but in my experience, Mannie’s life is richer and her smile is stronger when I see the positive effect my dad, my brothers and my male friends have on her.

My father volunteered for many years at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre where numerous young men’s lives were touched by the simple presence of my father teaching them woodwork. Again nothing special, nothing extraordinary, but it had an effect that not even my dad saw coming. After years of dedication, my father was nominated by these young men as Father of the Year in 2000 and won. A testimony to a man who saw the value in time and patience extended to those in need … who saw that fathering could reach beyond the walls of his home.

To the men reading this, I thank you for all your efforts with your families. The fruits of your labour will be great. And to those readers who are finding themselves in lack, I urge you to put your hand up, quash the supergirl act for a second and ask your friends’ husbands, your brothers, your friends to take time out for your kids. An hour kicking a football or painting a fence won’t kill anyone and the benefits just may astound you.

Michaela

3 comments:

catherine jayne said...

Great thoughts. Thanks for sharing Michaela!
~cj
xoxox

Anonymous said...

Beautiful article Michaela! Thanks so much for your wisdom and honesty!
Tanya

Anonymous said...

Correctly your article helped me terribly much in my college assignment. Hats high to you post, will look audacious for the duration of more cognate articles promptly as its anecdote of my pet topic to read.

My Favorites

 
Clicky Web Analytics